Neville's brown nose

1 vote

Gary Neville has been rushed to Manchester General Hospital after his decision to retire with immediate effect. Surgeons say he is in a stable condition after the operation to detach his tongue from Sir Alex Ferguson's behind.

Dumps of Liverpool

1 vote

I am now back home in the heart of Liverpool. After a few days I realised I have no money. So just sold Jingle Bells to a Scouse for £200. They will pay anything for a useless Carroll up here.

Neville and his lack of a stash

1 vote

BBC . Gary Neville retires from football to concentrate on growing the moustache that has eluded him for 36 years

West Ham hunt for net-hitter

1 vote

West Ham tried to sign Andy Murry in the January transfer window. Thier reason? They'd never seen anyone hit the net so many times in 90minutes!

Caretaker managers and probation officers

1 vote

Andy Carroll will never walk alone...

His probation officer is always 2 steps behind him

What is so special about the Mancs... NOTHING!

1 vote

The FA have announced that the January transfer window is now closed.

However if Sir Alex wants extra time to be added, the committee humbly begs his leave to kiss his Scottish arse.

Violent times ahead for Liverpool

1 vote

Liverpool Echo - 'Violent scenes outside Anfield'

Glad to see Andy Carrol is settling in well.

New Skull cracker in Liverpool

1 vote

Andy Carroll and Steven Gerrard are excited about pairing up to form a strong attacking partnership.

They will be a real handful for any team of bouncers in Liverpool's nightclubs.

Premier League - The place for robbing of old men!

1 vote

21st January 2011: Harry Redknapp Mugged In Spain By Man.

31st January 2011: Kenny Dalgleish Mugged In Liverpool By Newcastle.

Anfield's dipping reputation

1 vote

Fernandos Torres: "It's always a player's target to play at one of the world's top clubs. At Chelsea, I have finally achieved that."

Andy Carroll: "I never wanted to leave Newcastle."

Is it me, or does no one really want to be at Liverpool nowadays?