Rodney Marsh

0 votes

The following is an amusing anecdote about Rodney Marsh. If you don't know who Rodney Marsh is, then google him, however he was an England footballer with no small amount of skill who used to play for Fulham, QPR, Man City, Tampa Bay Rowdies and eventually ended up back at Fulham with George Best. The pair of them had a reputation for being bad boys off the park and highly skillful players on. If you don't know who George Best is then stop reading now! Whether this story is true, ask Rodney.

Denis Law interview 28/12/15

0 votes

Would your team have beaten the present one?

DL Yeah. 1-0 I think.

Why so close?

DL Well most of us are in our 70s now.

Gay wedding

1 vote

At a gay wedding,the priest was confused how to declare the 2 men as husband and wife.

After a long silence the priest said,"I hereby pronounce u Man-United!!!"

Children's Sermon

1 vote

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.
Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand........

The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

Old 'n' gold

2 votes

A Liverpool girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take that red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."

Q. What do you call a 27 year old Liverpool girl?
A. Granny.
Q. What do you call a Liverpool girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. There are two Liverpool girls in a car without any music - who is
driving?
A. The policewoman
Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ?
A. Father's day

The Pope speaks

1 vote

A little boy from Liverpool had gone to Rome on holiday with his family hoping to see the Pope. Anyway, a couple of days after they'd arrived, the Pope was doing a tour of the city in his Popemobile. The little lad was bit worried that the Pope wouldn't be able to pick him out in the crowd, so his Mum said "don't worry, the Pope is a footy fan, so wear your Liverpool shirt and he's bound to pick you out and talk to you". So, they're in the crowd, but the Popemobile drives past them, and stops a bit further down the street where John Paul gets out and speaks to a little boy in a Man Utd shirt.

Gooner grand-dad

1 vote

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, and for fruit, cereal and drinks in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, granddad is working his way around, saying in a gentle controlled voice, “Easy William, we won’t be long. . . Easy boy”.
Another outburst and she hears the granddad calmly say again. “It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

Gooner grand-dad

1 vote

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, and for fruit, cereal and drinks in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, granddad is working his way around, saying in a gentle controlled voice, “Easy William, we won’t be long. . . Easy boy”.
Another outburst and she hears the granddad calmly say again. “It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

Oy vay.

2 votes

From Jack Morris in London:

Two Jewish friends, one a Spurs supporter and the other an Arsenal supporter met for a coffee.

Morry:- ' Have you seen the fixture list for next season?'.

Izzy :- 'No, why?'

Morry:- ' Our teams are playing each other on Yom Kippur'.

Issy:- 'Not a problem, we can video it'.

Morry:- 'What the whole service?'

Mensa get it wrong

1 vote

The British wing of the high-IQ organization Mensa apologized after a member appearing on TV described a hypothetical person with an IQ of 60 as a "carrot."

And there was me thinking that people of low intelligence were known as spuds. A remarkable number attend matches at White Hart Lane.