Manc Virus

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Be on the lookout for a new breed of 'Evil­ Manc' computer viruses that could seriously affect­ / infect your PC.

There are many varieties of this­ virus, each affecting your computer in a different way.­ Details of each Variant of this virus are shown­ below.

The Manchester United Virus - This where the­ computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about­ every thing before 1993.

The Manchester United shirt­ virus - Designed to drain your bank account This one is­ especially hard to detect as it changes its format­ every three months.

The David Beckham virus - This­ affects newer computers mainly. The computer looks­ great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.

The­ Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows.

The Alex­ Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous­ whining noise. The on screen clock runs a lot slower­ than all the other computers in the building.

The­ Solskjaer virus - Will take numerous attempts to get­ into the net often failing completely.

The Ryan Giggs­ virus - The computer develops a processor problem­ whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is.­ It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in­ performance.

The Fabien Barthez virus - You just­ can't save anything.

Laurent Blanc virus - Makes­ your Computer go really slow and Creates big holes in­ your Hard-Drive!

The Phil Neville virus - The worst­ of all, ruins all memory of basic functions and­ programmes, randomly delivering data to the wrong goal.­ Also weakens all communications within the network­

Dressing Room virus - Appears when the system fails.­ Reboot may be dangerous.